Archive for the ‘scolding’ Tag

Weird exit.   Leave a comment

Since I missed posting yesterday, I have another for today to make up for it…  And, if you read my post about abiding by my internal clock, you’ll know I mentally blogged all day as my day progressed.  So, here’s how it ended.

To set it up for you, it was late evening and my friend was getting her babies ready for bed.  They have a bedtime that they stick to, but my friend said we could stay past that bedtime to visit with her…she would just need a few minutes to put them down.  I haven’t seen my friend in FOREVER (like sometime in the middle of last year), so I wanted every minute to catch up with her that I could get.  So, she’s busy putting her babies to bed, and we are busy feeding our older baby some dinner and our little baby a bottle.

Around that time, my friend’s step-mom stops by.  She had been away all day on a visit to see her father whose health is failing.  It was a tough day for her.  However, that doesn’t give her the right to be rude.  Anyway, my friend had put her babies down and my friend was tired but wanted to visit with us for a little while longer.  She was on a quick trip home and had not had as much sleep as she would have preferred (like as in hardly any) and I completely understand what that feels like.  However, she and I have been friends for half our lives and lived together for four years, so we both wanted a few more minutes to visit.  When her step-mom gets there, she says hi and gives hugs and meets my new little one and even talks about how cute my older son is.  That all takes about a minute.  After that minute, she immediately starts telling my toddler to be quiet, babies are sleeping.  Take your shoes off, babies are sleeping.  Don’t run, don’t talk, don’t giggle…she was practically telling him not to breathe.  I was in another room nursing my younger son but I could hear some of this.  Plus, my husband comes in and asks me “are we leaving soon?”  I told him I didn’t think so and asked why.  He says that my friend’s step-mom tells my toddler to put his shoes on and asks if we need help packing up and if I was done nursing.  WTH.  I then said, “yep, sounds like we are leaving.”  Now, my friend had nothing to do with this bizarre behavior.  She was upstairs checking on her babies.  Mind you, this is a house with all wooden floors and very thin walls (very old house), so wherever you are in the house, you can hear what’s happening in the rest of it.  So, any sound any of us makes echoes up to the babies’ room.  Further, my son was not screaming, banging things, or any of the like.  He was simply enjoying being in the room with everyone else.  My little baby had done some crying previously because he did not want a bottle and only wanted to nurse, and after a few minutes of that I nursed him so he would be quiet and not wake the babies.  Plus, I apologized to my friend and she said it was fine – her babies had for the most part slept through that.  Also, my friend’s step-mom wasn’t there for any of that.

Anyway, so we were basically ushered out of the house and it felt really awkward.  I was so excited to see my friend and the actual visit with her had been wonderful, until the weird exit (which is the term coined by husband once we were down the road).

My friend is driving home today but I expect she’ll call me later to apologize for her step-mom.  She’s always had issues with her and ever since I’ve known her talks about her step-mom ruins things…and is somewhat socially awkward.  Now, I’ve had wonderful times with my friend and her family, step-mom included, but the end of our visit last night was not one of them.

This is one of the first times someone has told my kid to be quiet, stop running, etc., and I didn’t like that…at all.  It reminds me of Alison Krauss’ song, Baby Mine.  If you haven’t heard it, you should listen to it.  The lyric that reminds me of how I felt last night is:

All of those people who scold you
What they’d give just for the
right to hold you

So, BACK OFF visit-ruiner step-mom and leave my kid alone!  It would have been a different story if he was running around the house yelling and throwing things, but he was not.  I know my friend needed her sleep and we certainly did not want to take up the babies, but her step-mom wasn’t there for most of the visit and did not understand that my friend and I had everything under control.  Annoying.

I was very happy to get home to my cozy, warm house where my child could say and do as he pleased…although he went right to bed like a good boy…with no crying, foot stomping, throwing things, etc…because he RARELY acts like that…EVER.

Nonetheless, I am so thankful I got to spend a few precious hours with my friend and meet her beautiful babies.  I love her and her family dearly and that’s all that matters….

Are there people in your life who scold your children unnecessarily?  How does it make you feel?  Where do you draw the line with saying something?  I need some advice on how to deal with this in the future, because I was mad last night, and I want to make sure I have those emotions under control in case a situation arises in the future where I feel like I really do need to say something…  Luckily the situation last night was just annoying and weird…not one where I felt I needed to say something.

All the best,
Someone’s mom