Archive for the ‘stressful’ Tag

I made it…barely.   1 comment

Thank you God for Saturday morning…even Friday night was pretty great.  The rest of the week?  I can do without.

I made it through my first week of being a working mom of 2, and I can’t say I enjoyed it.  The morning routine now has an extra hour to hour and a half and a ton of stress for me.  There were two mornings where I had everything packed up for the next day, and those mornings were wonderful.  There were two that I was not prepared, and they sucked ass.

The evenings were just as stressful…one in particular.  On Thursday, we had rain and storms all day here.  We have a dog door because our older dog cannot go long periods of time without using the bathroom.  Our dogs will bark incessantly if left outside, so instead of paying the thousands of dollars to have their voice boxes removed, we chose the less expensive route of the dog door.  I hate it.  We have white carpet…this does not mix well with a dog door and muddy yard.  I am constantly scrubbing the carpet. Resolve is my friend.  You are welcome Reckitt Benckise.

On Thursday, I arrived at my mother-in-law’s after work to find a screaming baby who had barely eaten all day.  That has been the norm this week.  My little baby has not taken to the bottle well at all.  We gave him bottles throughout my maternity leave and he did ok, and we were really hoping he would carry that on when I went back to work.  Not.the.case.  He is barely eating and holding out to nurse.  And this is very frustrating as you can imagine.  I work 45 minutes from my mother in law’s so it’s not like I can run home and nurse him real quick.  I’m sad at work thinking about him struggling and not eating.  And, it’s certainly not easy on my mother-in-law.  She’s tried all types of nipples and bottles and nothing is working.  We had the same issue with my firstborn and it took him about two weeks to figure it out.  So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the same thing with my little baby.

So, back to Thursday.  I arrived at my mother-in-law’s and nursed my baby a little.  She also wanted me to try giving him a bottle…and that only made him more angry.  So, he was screaming, I was hungry, my first son was grumpy because he was hungry, and my mother-in-law’s house was hot as hell and I was sweating.  I was so ready to get out of there.

(Side note – my mother-in-law is currently going through menopause, and some days her house is hot as well and other days cold.  This makes it slightly difficult to dress my children each day.)

Upon arriving to my house on Thursday, I was greeted by a pile of mud on the carpet and in the foyer when I opened the front door.  F-ing great.  My husband was upstairs washing both dogs.  I quickly realized what had happened.  One of our dogs had gone outside during the thunderstorm, rolled in the mud under our deck, and brought it back in…and shook it everywhere.  There was mud on the carpet, all over the kitchen floor and rugs, and on the walls.  So, from 8pm to midnight, we cleaned up mud.  My husband cleaned the dogs and the kitchen and I scrubbed the carpet and the walls.  Somehow we managed to feed our firstborn and get him in the bed, and I nursed my little baby a couple of times and rocked him to sleep.  I finally ate some dinner at midnight – burned popcorn and an old piece of chicken from the refrigerator.  Awesome.

Thursday night made me sad.  It made me hate the dogs, hate the fact that I have to work, and realize that the few very short hours I had with my children that night were wasted on cleaning up the house because my dogs suck.  On top of all that, my little baby has been waking up and throwing up in the middle of the night which means even less sleep for me.  It was a crazy couple of days and in the middle of it all, I didn’t think I had the patience to deal with it any longer.  I can’t describe how angry I was when I saw all the mud in my house.  This is my HOME, not a damn dog house.  But, it’s my fault.  I should have locked them in the house that day.  Lesson learned.

But, work is going ok and I feel valuable and important there.  I miss my little boys tremendously, but I’m a better mom because I work.  Friday night was great.  We played with our sons, made a decent dinner, and I had a couple of glasses of wine.  Both kids slept great.  We had a nice breakfast this morning.  Sure, the house is a bit messy, the yard is starting to need some attention, and I have three to four loads of laundry to do, but that’s life I suppose.

Despite that my past few days were full of ups and downs, I am lucky and I shouldn’t complain.  My heart goes out to all of the people affected by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  I am sad for their country and I realize that life is precious and I should really not waste my time complaining about shit that doesn’t matter.  This is that whole pessimism thing I inherited from the ‘rents…still trying to choose the optimistic version of myself.  As you can tell, I struggle every day.

More to come this weekend…I missed my blog this week.

All the best,

Someone’s mom

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