Archive for the ‘toddler’ Tag

I ugly cried.   Leave a comment

Today was my first day back to reality…and it kind of sucked.  I love my job and the people I work with, and if you have read some of my other posts you’ll know I am afraid of being a permanent SAHM, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be sad.

I only got about four hours of sleep last night.  I was tired this morning, and am beyond exhausted as I type this.  The morning went fairly smooth as I had all of the bags packed and ready.  I told myself I’d do the same tonight and have everything ready for tomorrow, but I’m so damn tired I can’t even fathom getting up off of this couch.  I had a lump in my throat the whole time I was getting the boys ready this morning.  I dropped the boys off at their sitter’s house with only one tear shed.  It was only after I was alone in my car that I cried…or should I say, wept.  To make things worse on myself (I suppose I’m a glutton for punishment), I played Allison Krauss’ Baby Mine and Chris Medina’s What Are Words and those two songs made my cry even harder.  I did manage to stop crying long enough to reschedule a dentist appointment and I had actually pulled myself together by the time I arrived to the parking lot at work. However, as I was walking into the building, I realized it was 9am and this would have been about the time my toddler and I would have been having breakfast together.  And, I lost it.  I cried for my buddy.  I missed him so much at that moment. I missed my little baby’s snuggles.  I even missed my dogs.

I was already in the building at this point so I kept on walking to my office.  Most of my team was standing near my office and they had decorated it with bright balloons and streamers.  It was wonderful.  And what did I do? I ugly cried.  Right there, in front of my entire staff.  Mascara running down my face and snot running down my nose.  How embarrassing.  Who does that?!  My team was so excited to see me and had even planned a breakfast pizza party.  And I cried like a baby.  I had to apologize to them and let them know I was happy to see them all and I promised I was excited to be back at work.  They all knew the truth though…how could you not?  Luckily I have a very understanding, sweet team, and I don’t think they’ll hold it against me.

So, I made it through my first day back…barely.  It was painful, but tomorrow will be better.  And, by the end of the week, I am hoping to have my new normal.

Working is best for me, and I’m a better mom because I work.  However, I can’t type this without admitting I am also jealous of some SAHMs I know…I wanted to be them so badly today. But, it will all be ok.  Tomorrow, I will be prepared with waterproof mascara and tissues.

Off to bed.  I plan to post in a few days about what has become of my dad here recently.  Let’s just say I’m a true believer in karma…   My poor parents…so naive to not realize that what goes around comes around.

Goodnight!

All the best,

Someone’s mom

Same epic poo, different kid, different attitude.   Leave a comment

We had a long day yesterday.  We traveled to another city to do a little outlet shopping  (LOVE Carter’s and Motherhood Maternity outlets!) and for a family reunion.  Shopping was quick and chaotic.  I bought a few nursing shirts at Motherhood and then took my little man in there to nurse him.  Love that they are a nursing friendly story.  Their fitting rooms are nice and big with benches, but they have curtains for doors, so the rooms are not quite as private as I would like.  While I was nursing my little man, he had an epic poo.  A very noisy, large amount of poo.  It went EVERYWHERE.  I was a bit embarrassed because I know the people right outside my waiting room heard as I heard giggles from them.  I tried to stifle some of my own laughter as I’m not quite sure how the Motherhood people feel about me changing a poopy diaper in their fitting room.  So, the little man got a fresh diaper, full tummy, and outfit change.

The crazy thing about the situation is that the exact same thing happened when I was nursing my firstborn in that same Motherhood, in the same fitting room, at the same age.  What are the odds of that?  What’s more, the weather here yesterday was chilly, very rainy, and very windy…SAME weather as the day of the first epic poo…two totally different seasons…

Yesterday was different though.  I laughed at the epic poo instead of freaking out.  I did what I had to do and was much more prepared.  The first time it happened with my firstborn, I accidentally smeared poo all over the fitting room bench, and had nothing to put the nasty diaper in.  I had just one clean outfit with me for my firstborn and got a little poo on that so the poor little fella had to wear a poopy outfit all day.  Yesterday, I had a plastic bag ready for that poo diaper, several outfit changes, some sanitary wipes to help remove the poo from the soiled outfit, and a much different attitude.  It’s amazing to me how much more relaxed we can be with the second child.  It is even more amazing how much more love we have in our hearts.  Like the Grinch, I think my heart grew three sizes the day that my second son was born.

Sure, I still worry just as much (probably more) and I’m not always laid back about things.  I still have a lot of anxiety.  But yesterday, I realized that I was able to laugh at a situation that I couldn’t laugh at when I was a new mom.  I suppose I’m just more confident and prepared these days for situations like epic poos and I think I’m making a little progress toward becoming more optimistic and happy too…

The epic poo wasn’t the only crazy thing that happened yesterday.  The family reunion we went to was at the world’s WORST restaurant.  It was awful.  The food was some of the worst we have had and the service was even worse.  We got there a few minutes later than the rest of the party and we were told by the waitress we needed to order immediately or our food would not come out with the others.  Who cares??  But, she made us order right away.  I hadn’t even sat down yet.  I mean, we were still getting the high chair set up.  So, the husband and I each ordered a steak…and we were so hungry and SO disappointed.  I had trouble getting the steak knife through mine.  😦  Before we could finish our meal, the waitress had already come and taken away the bread and cracker baskets, the butter, and several other condiments from the table.  Now, this place was 4 to 5 hours away from closing time and not busy at all…no need for them to be clearing our stuff before we were finished. Oh well.  My husband and I had a great time laughing about it all while we were finishing dinner.  We joked about hitting up a burger joint we saw on the way in and a Ben & Jerry’s to get my Late Night Snack once the reunion was over.

We finish dinner and head out to leave, pack the kids up in the car, turn the key, and nothing.  My car will not start.  Yay!!  Luckily my resourceful husband and brother we were able to roll it down a hill, pop the clutch and get it to start.  That sounds easy enough, but my husband did get hit square in the forehead with the back of my car during all this…not quite sure how that happened…  I did freak out for a second wondering what we were going to do with the kids, how much was this going to cost,  blah blah.  But, then I realized, I could choose my own attitude about it.  So, I laughed…and it felt pretty good to laugh about it!  I knew that it would all work out no matter what.  And, it did.  The car started, we got it home, and it started right up this morning.  Fingers crossed it was just a small glitch in the matrix 😉  In the past, I would have bitched the entire way home and talked about how we can’t afford to fix it, why does this happen to me, blah blah.  I’m pretty proud of myself for not letting that kind of word vomit escape from my mouth yesterday.

The drive home was another crazy adventure.  We had terrible storms through our state yesterday.  We drove through the worst downpour we have ever been in.  My husband was fighting the 30 to 40 mile per hour wind gusts that were trying to blow us all over the road.  It was extremely scary and all I could think about were my two little boys sleeping peacefully in the back seat.  We were under a tornado watch too so had our eyes peeled.  If you read one of my earlier posts, you’ll know I’m terrified of storms and tornadoes, so this situation was extremely stressful for me.  I was so tense my shoulders were hurting.  It was quite an adventure to get home…  We dodged branches and fallen power lines in the road.  We passed several neighborhoods without power.  Surprisingly, everything was fine in our neighborhood.  What a relief!

A few minutes after we get home (and it’s late at this point, 9:30ish) my mother-in-law calls and tells me her house does not have power and that she, my father-in-law, sister- and brother-in-law and their child, have not eaten supper.  Then she asks if we’ve had supper.  I reply yes.  Then she says, “Well we need to eat supper” in a very stressed out crazy way.  All I said was “ok…”  I had no idea where she was going with all of it until she then said, “well we need to eat supper and if you have power we would like to come there.”  Wow.  Ok.  At first, I did freak a little.  The house was a mess because we didn’t clean up before we left that morning, we had just come in from our long-ass day and were trying to get the boys to sleep, and I was exhausted.  But then, I remembered that I could choose my attitude, so I chose to joke with my husband and laugh about it.  And then it became funny…fun even.  I actually had a great time with our little impromptu dinner party.  In the past, I would have bitched, saved face with the company here, and then bitched some more.  I’m proud of myself.

Overall, the husband and I laughed about the whole day when we finally made it to bed at midnight.  Between the epic poo, terrible service and food at the restaurant, the car not starting, the worst storm we’ve ever driven through, and the crazy-ass surprise dinner party at 9:30 at night, it was a day for the books.

As I type this, I’m 50 minutes away from being officially done with my maternity leave.  Although I know it’s for the best for so many reasons, I am still very sad to be heading back to work tomorrow.  I am going to miss my little men more than I can even put into words.  My toddler is my buddy.  He’s been my little best friend these past 12 weeks.  He’s grown up so much right before my eyes.  He is an amazing little man.  Not even 18 months yet and he knows about 200 words, he can tell me what he needs – “I pood, hungy, thirsty, brush my teeth…”  (No hungy is not a misspelling, that’s how he says it – so cute!).  As I type this, he is spending his third night in his toddler bed in his new big boy room.  It is a bit early to be putting him in a toddler bed according to some doctors and books I’ve read…the recommended age is around 2.   He has done absolutely wonderful though and has slept almost the entire night without a sound the past two nights.  Anyway, back to leaving them tomorrow…  I can’t say that I will not enjoy adult interaction and my me time in my car like I’ve mentioned before, and I won’t miss some of the frustrating days I’ve had when they both have been a little grumpy and needy, but I will miss the hell out of them.  I’m so jealous of my mother-in-law because she now gets to see them for the 40 to 50 hours per week that I’ve had them.  She may be the one to see my little baby roll over for the first time, to see my toddler learn a new word or say his first sentence, and she’ll be the one having breakfast with my little buddy.  And, missing those moments sucks ass.  Instead of enjoying my coffee and oatmeal with my little men, I’ll probably be eating on the run while commuting to work.  It sound very depressing as I sit here and type this.

It’ll be ok though.  It has to be.  I have no choice…a) I have to work to pay the bills, and b) if I were a permanent SAHM, I may go crazy and end up like my mother.  It’s just going to take me a few days to accept that everything will be ok.

For now, I’m just going to keep sitting here with my little baby on my lap fast asleep, and listen to my toddler sleeping on the monitor.  I know I am so lucky to have had these past 12 weeks with them, and I am truly grateful.

Tomorrow, a new chapter begins…  Time to turn the page.

Goodnight.

All the best,

Someone’s mom

Don’t call your daughter the “c” word. *Warning-not nice words listed here.   4 comments

Today I gave my toddler a bath. Like most toddlers, he loves bath time. He would stay in the tub until his entire little body turned into a prune. While I was pregnant with him, one of the things I looked forward to was bath time with my little fella.  This led me to register for all the bath toys I could find…and our friends and family delivered. We have more bath toys than the bath toy aisle at Babies R Us. I have put most of them in the bath tub with him and there’s barely room for him. He could loves it. He plays with the little boats, arranges the Sesame Street characters along the side of the tub, and sticks his ABCs and 123s on the wall. I can’t even mention the word bath in this house without him freaking out with excitement. And, you best believe if we mention the word bath, we had best be preparing his water or holy hell will break loose.

Today was no different from any normal bath day for him. He was excitedly playing with all of his toys, trying to drink the water, and talking a mile a minute to his toys and me. I had my little baby in a bouncy chair out in the hallway so I could keep my eye on him. Halfway through my son’s bath, my little baby woke up and was ready to nurse…ahead of schedule (seems to be a theme lately – this kid must be HUNGRY). I turned around to grab my little baby out of his seat so I could sit on the toilet and nurse him while watching my older son play. As I was removing him from his seat, my back and legs became wet. I turn around and my toddler was laughing hysterically and has one of his little boat toys dipped in the water ready for another shot at mommy. He throws another round of water at me and it gets me and the little man wet. Instead of laughing, I got pissed. I raised my voice at my toddler and told him to stop it. Before I could grab the boat from him, he did it again, soaking the bathroom floor and a basket of towels and extra bath toys I have in there. I was honestly mad. I took the boat from him and told him it was time to get out of the bath and yelled that he was a bad boy. He then grabbed the wash cloth that was full of water and started flinging it around adding more water to the bathroom floor and my feet. I raised my voice even louder and told him to stop. Then, I realized, OMG, I sound like my parents. WTF is wrong with me? It’s a bathroom and it’s just water. He’s having the time of his life and I’m yelling at him before it.

So, I quickly apologized to him and gave him a kiss. Luckily, I do not think he was phased by me yelling at him…thank you God. I sat down on the wet toilet and nursed my son and let my toddler continue his bath time fun. I analyzed my actions. I cried just a little. What had caused me to freak out? I mean, I was really yelling at this kid for the most stupid thing. Then, I realized, this is something I’m going to battle my entire lifetime as a mother. I’ve unfortunately inherited a bad temper and the ability to freak out on a moment’s notice about nothing. Thank you Mom and Dad. Awesome.

Today is another day where I struggled between choosing the loving, kind, optimistic version of myself standing on one shoulder versus my parents who are standing on the other. In this situation, I acted like my parents used to when I was little. I flipped out on my precious little boy for nothing. It hurt and I didn’t like it one bit. It brought back a flood of memories that I don’t think I wanted to deal with today.

When I was growing up (between the ages of 5 and 16 or so), I have vivid memories of my parents screaming at me, beating me, screaming and beating each other, and cussing like sailors. I was beat for things that my little toddler did today. One time, my mom had my brother and I in the bath together (I was around 7 and he was about 2) and I threw a bath toy at him. I have no idea if I did it on purpose, but even so, I did not deserve what I got for it. My mom yelled at me and slapped me and I came back at her and told her to stop (you have to understand she did this on a daily basis and even my 7 year old self was tired of it and knew it was wrong). My dad heard what was going on, came in the bathroom, removed my brother from the tub, took off his belt, and beat me…naked. All the while my little brother was watching, crying. I had belt marks on me for days.

One time, I wet my pants in the middle of my bedroom floor, and was beat with the buckle side of the belt for that. Ouch. My mom threw shoes at me, and my dad chased me behind the bed and into corners and beat me with the belt. I can still picture the corner of my room and can still remember crouching down into the tightest position I could get to minimize the parts of my body that would be hit.  Now, I realize that many people believe in spanking children…to each his own. But, I was beat people. I was made to wear long sleeve shirts even when it was warm out to cover up the welts. In my book, this was not punishment, it was abuse.

Not only was I beat with the belt and hit with shoes, I remember a few instances of being pinched and having my hair pulled by my parents. And, one time, when I was 16 years old, I stayed after work and talked to some friends in the parking lot for 30 minutes and got home later than my dad expected me to, and I was dragged up a flight of 6 carpeted stairs so hard that the skin was ripped away from my kneecap. I was then dragged down the hall of my house and thrown into my bedroom….at 16 years old! I understand I was home later than I should have been, but I wasn’t doing drugs or drinking or any of the like. I was talking to some friends. My dad had even called my job and they told him I was in the parking lot talking to friends because they could see me. I did not deserve what I got. The next day we had family portraits with my dad’s new wife’s family, and I had picked out a shirt and skirt to wear. I still wore it and wore white hose with the skirt, and you could see the huge bandage on my knee. My step-grandparents asked me what happened, and my dad had already threatened that if I told anyone I would get it worse, so I told them I fell at work. I hated lying. I hated covering up my bruises. For years I wanted to tell what was happening to me, but I was always threatened by my parents that if I told, I would be beat within an “inch of my life.”  To this day, I still have no idea what that means, but at the time, it sounded awful and I believed them.

In addition to the physical hurt my parents bestowed on me, I was also hurt verbally. For as long as I can remember, my dad called me a cunt.  I can’t believe I even just typed that word.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  He called my mother and I that all the time.  I didn’t even know what it meant when he first started…I was probably 7 or 8 years old the first time I heard it.  7 or 8 – still in elementary school!  Who does that?!  That was the worst, but I was called every name in the book…all the way from ingrate to mother fucking bitch.  I’ve never written those words out before – it really makes me uncomfortable to do so.  I have that little knot in the back of my throat when I think about it.  My dad wasn’t the only one doing the name-calling.  My mom did the same thing, but for some reason it hurt worse coming from my dad.  My mom had always mistreated me, but there were times when I felt like Daddy’s Little Girl and when he treated me so.  I desperately wanted to be his little girl.  But I felt more like an inmate and he was the warden…which makes sense because he has been in law enforcement for most of his adult life.

So, back to today.  I didn’t call my son any names and I did not hit him, but I yelled at him…for something stupid.  It scared me.  I don’t want to be like that.  I will NOT do what my parents did to me.    I hated them for it, and it still hurts to this day to even think about it.  I understand that my son will need to be corrected and disciplined.  I’m certainly not going to set him up for a lifetime of doing what he wants and walking all over people, but I’ve learned from my experiences that beating your children and calling them names only meant for the scum of the Earth is not the answer.

My son is napping right now, and I plan to give him a big hug when he wakes up.  I love both of my sons more than life itself.  I’d die for them and I want them to feel so much more love than I ever felt as a child.  I do not want them to have memories of me yelling at them, calling them names, hitting them, or any of the like.  I do want them to respect me, and I believe they will, only if I show them the same respect in return.

I guess I should thank my parents for teaching me how NOT to parent.

Love your children.  They are precious and innocent beings.  Don’t take your time with them for granted.  It goes by quickly.  Don’t mistreat them, they will only hate you for it.

All the best,

Someone’s mom

Someone else’s kid.   4 comments

Hi all!  Today I’m babysitting my 1 and a half year old nephew.  So, I have two toddlers and a 2 month old I’m responsible for.  Can we say wine with dinner tonight??!

So far, it’s been ok.   We’ve all had breakfast, poops, snack, playtime, and a nap.  Count me out for the nap part 😉  There have been some particularly challenging moments though…

My nephew is a bit more needy than my two kids.  He loves his momma dearly and only wants her.  We have a room in our house gated off with tons of toys in it, and for the longest time today he just stood there at the gate crying for his mom.  My son even went up to him and hugged him and loved him and he just pushed my son away and continued crying.  It made me sad and I tried everything I could to get him to interact with my son and calm down.  Finally, he did, but he’s had several other flare ups since then…all at the precise moment that I’ve been doing something for my kids.  He’s the sweetest thing, but also a real pain in the a$$ when it comes to wanting his momma.  It sure does make me appreciate how independent my toddler is.  I think there’s maybe been one time when he cried for me when I dropped him off before work one day, and he was teething and had a cold.  The person who watches him says he never seems to care that I leave.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not the more I think about it.  I mean, I kind of want him to care.  He does get excited when I pick him up and I love that part.  But, I was gone an entire week a few months ago and I expected him to run to me when I got home, but he was happy for just a minute and then went back to playing with this toys.  I suppose if I had to choose between the two personalities, it’s much better to have a child who is independent.  He plays by himself and entertains himself when I am busy with my little baby.  His cousin who I am watching today does not.  The moment you leave the room he starts crying…and the cries get louder until you go back to him.  I feel sad for him because he’s so little and it seems he has some separation anxiety.  I sure hope he figures it out soon and gains a little independence. Even his momma talks about how lucky I am that my son is so independent.  And, my experience today so far has made me count my blessings and appreciate my son so much – I even told him that and thanked him for being him when I put him down for his nap. Here’s hoping my little baby turns out like his big brother!

I honestly can’t believe I even have a minute to type up a post.  Que the choir – they are all sleeping – Hallelujah!  Not for long though, my little baby is starting to get squirmy…almost time to nurse again.

My last thought for the day…  I was changing my nephew’s poopy diaper and thinking to myself, man this is SO GROSS.  Sure, my own son has some nasty diapers, but it seems so much more disgusting when it’s someone else’s kid…  But at the end of the day, it’s all shit. 🙂

Have a great day!

All the best,

Someone’s mom

Weird exit.   Leave a comment

Since I missed posting yesterday, I have another for today to make up for it…  And, if you read my post about abiding by my internal clock, you’ll know I mentally blogged all day as my day progressed.  So, here’s how it ended.

To set it up for you, it was late evening and my friend was getting her babies ready for bed.  They have a bedtime that they stick to, but my friend said we could stay past that bedtime to visit with her…she would just need a few minutes to put them down.  I haven’t seen my friend in FOREVER (like sometime in the middle of last year), so I wanted every minute to catch up with her that I could get.  So, she’s busy putting her babies to bed, and we are busy feeding our older baby some dinner and our little baby a bottle.

Around that time, my friend’s step-mom stops by.  She had been away all day on a visit to see her father whose health is failing.  It was a tough day for her.  However, that doesn’t give her the right to be rude.  Anyway, my friend had put her babies down and my friend was tired but wanted to visit with us for a little while longer.  She was on a quick trip home and had not had as much sleep as she would have preferred (like as in hardly any) and I completely understand what that feels like.  However, she and I have been friends for half our lives and lived together for four years, so we both wanted a few more minutes to visit.  When her step-mom gets there, she says hi and gives hugs and meets my new little one and even talks about how cute my older son is.  That all takes about a minute.  After that minute, she immediately starts telling my toddler to be quiet, babies are sleeping.  Take your shoes off, babies are sleeping.  Don’t run, don’t talk, don’t giggle…she was practically telling him not to breathe.  I was in another room nursing my younger son but I could hear some of this.  Plus, my husband comes in and asks me “are we leaving soon?”  I told him I didn’t think so and asked why.  He says that my friend’s step-mom tells my toddler to put his shoes on and asks if we need help packing up and if I was done nursing.  WTH.  I then said, “yep, sounds like we are leaving.”  Now, my friend had nothing to do with this bizarre behavior.  She was upstairs checking on her babies.  Mind you, this is a house with all wooden floors and very thin walls (very old house), so wherever you are in the house, you can hear what’s happening in the rest of it.  So, any sound any of us makes echoes up to the babies’ room.  Further, my son was not screaming, banging things, or any of the like.  He was simply enjoying being in the room with everyone else.  My little baby had done some crying previously because he did not want a bottle and only wanted to nurse, and after a few minutes of that I nursed him so he would be quiet and not wake the babies.  Plus, I apologized to my friend and she said it was fine – her babies had for the most part slept through that.  Also, my friend’s step-mom wasn’t there for any of that.

Anyway, so we were basically ushered out of the house and it felt really awkward.  I was so excited to see my friend and the actual visit with her had been wonderful, until the weird exit (which is the term coined by husband once we were down the road).

My friend is driving home today but I expect she’ll call me later to apologize for her step-mom.  She’s always had issues with her and ever since I’ve known her talks about her step-mom ruins things…and is somewhat socially awkward.  Now, I’ve had wonderful times with my friend and her family, step-mom included, but the end of our visit last night was not one of them.

This is one of the first times someone has told my kid to be quiet, stop running, etc., and I didn’t like that…at all.  Not.one.bit.  It reminds me of Alison Krauss’ song, Baby Mine.  If you haven’t heard it, you should listen to it.  The lyric that reminds me of how I felt last night is:

All of those people who scold you
What they’d give just for the
right to hold you

So, BACK OFF visit-ruiner step-mom and leave my kid alone!  It would have been a different story if he was running around the house yelling and throwing things, but he was not.  I know my friend needed her sleep and we certainly did not want to take up the babies, but her step-mom wasn’t there for most of the visit and did not understand that my friend and I had everything under control.  Annoying.

I was very happy to get home to my cozy, warm house where my child could say and do as he pleased…although he went right to bed like a good boy…with no crying, foot stomping, throwing things, etc…because he RARELY acts like that…EVER.

Nonetheless, I am so thankful I got to spend a few precious hours with my friend and meet her beautiful babies.  I love her and her family dearly and that’s all that matters….

Are there people in your life who scold your children unnecessarily?  How does it make you feel?  Where do you draw the line with saying something?  I need some advice on how to deal with this in the future, because I was mad last night, and I want to make sure I have those emotions under control in case a situation arises in the future where I feel like I really do need to say something…  Luckily the situation last night was just annoying and weird…not one where I felt I needed to say something.

All the best,
Someone’s mom

Early morning reflections on the mommy heart.   Leave a comment

Good morning! I have a few minutes now before the rest of my little world is moving about and that it would be a great time to post. My little baby is laying here beside me with a full belly and a fresh diaper…he’s a happy little fella right about now. My big baby is snuggling with his daddy and hopefully they are both back asleep. My big baby has had some redness between his little toes here lately so we’ve been keeping him out of socks. Last night, he also slept in thinner pjs than he’s used to (he’s been in fleece pjs most of this winter). Since it’s been warm here, I thought the thinner pjs were the way to go last night, but it got a little colder than I realized. I keep it at 68 in my house so it’s not terribly cold. I went to check on him though and he was curled up in the tightest little ball I’ve ever seen and his little feet were cold. He won’t stay under a blanket for anything. He goes to bed covered up, and we check on him a couple times per night and cover him back up, but I can’t be in there with him all night to make sure he’s under his blanket. I wish I could. He woke up not long after I checked on him and when I was changing his diaper, he said “blanket.” Poor thing was cold. So now he’s snuggling in our warm bed with daddy and it makes my heart smile knowing he’s nice and warm. Now, he slept just fine last night and slept through the night…and he was probably comfortable, but remember I worry like crazy so when I touched him and he was cold this morning, I was incredibly sad thinking that he was probably freezing all night long. Couple that feeling with still missing his baby hair that we chopped off yesterday and I was sort of an emotional wreck this morning. What in the world is wrong with me?? I’m not preggers (fingers crossed – that would be insane) and I don’t think I’m PMSing… I guess it’s just my mommy heart. I cry at so many things now that I never used to think about or react to – tv commercials with children, babies being born on TLC’s A Baby Story. I’ve cried like a little baby myself so many times the moments the babies are born. My husband thinks I’m insane and sometimes I believe him 😉

I realize though that our hearts change so much once we have children. We of course do all that we can to provide for them, keep them safe and warm, and shelter them from all of the craziness that this life has to offer. I’d die for my children, and this is crazy to me because I have been and still can be a very selfish person. I’d do anything for them. So, this is a warning to any wood-be bullies waiting to bully my kids when they are in school – watch out! 😉 Just kidding – I’ll be a nice mom, I promise!

It’s an amazing feeling to love two little beings so unconditionally and to want them to have it so much better than I ever have or will have it. My mommy heart is so full of love (and a little bit of concern). I realize that home is now wherever my kids and husband are… Even though I’m sad about going back to work in a couple of weeks (I’ll miss my breakfast buddy so much – I’ve really bonded with my older baby), I know that every day I’m going home to be with the ones I love so deeply. To be with the ones I never knew I could love so much.

Have a great day.

All the best,
Someone’s mom

PS – any thoughts on keeping a toddler under a blanket so he doesn’t have to sleep in the fleece pjs all the time would be great!Early

Firstborn, first haircut.   Leave a comment

It was another beautiful day in my part of the world. Sunny, but very windy. Several issues with fires around my great state. Thank you so much to the men and women working tirelessly to put them out and keep us all safe!

This morning, my firstborn had his very first haircut. Yesterday, I took tons of pictures of his beautiful long, somewhat curly blonde locks. Today, he became a big boy. He did so great and was the star of the show in the salon this morning. He stole the hearts of all the women there. I’m not quite sure how I feel about the whole first haircut thing. I mean, I know he needed it, but I’m a bit emotional about it. His haircut is very cute, but he’s a different little person all of a sudden – still my baby, but a grown up version. I’m getting used to it as each hour passes. I asked my husband if he liked the haircut, and to my surprise, he said we should have kept his hair long in the back. I think we are both having a little bit of a tough time with it – crazy! My husband was rooting for the haircut and is usually not very emotional about things like that.

Aside from my crazy emotions, I’m so proud of my little boy for being such a big boy today. It was a great experience! We spent the rest of our day with family and my husband cooked out a wonderful meal, complete with yummy dessert to finish up the day.

I’m so thankful for my babies, my hubby, and my wonderful in-laws. I married into such a loving, fun family and for that am truly grateful.

I’d love to hear from anyone about your child’s first haircut. Were you emotional about it? Did you feel your child was a different kid afterwards and did you need some time getting used to it? Or, am I just crazy?

Goodnight all!

Posted February 19, 2011 by Holy crap! I'm someone's mom! in Uncategorized

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