Archive for the ‘trait’ Tag

It’s a beautiful day.   Leave a comment

It’s so pretty outside in my part of the world. It should be in the 30s and 40s this time of year but right now it is almost 70 degrees. I love it; it makes me ready for spring…and more importantly, summer vacation in the OBX (that’s Outer Banks for all of you on the West Coast). However, as much as warm weather excites me, I don’t want the days to speed by. See, aside from working on my patience, constant worry, and obsession with cleanliness, I’m learning to slow down. We’ve all been there in our childhood and teen years where we wish for nothing more than to be grown ups and on our own. However, it does suck a little when we get here…no more parents to pay the bills! Joking – it doesn’t suck that bad and in fact, it’s really fantastic. Anyway, I’ve learned to slow myself down and am really trying to live in the moment as much as I can. This is hard for me because I’m always looking forward. For example, I can’t wait for the day when my husband and I are debt free…which is a long time from now. We are on a plan to make that happen and it’s a long plan. I keep thinking how awesome it will be when we get there, but then I realize my kids will be starting school then and won’t be my babies anymore, and I’m not ready for that. So, until then, we’ll be in debt and live paycheck to paycheck but enjoy the hell out of our children.

I think I get this trait of always looking forward from my Dad. My Dad is prepared for anything and everything, but mostly his death. He has his funeral plans laid out, his plot is purchased, his Will is in order, his life insurance policies are up to date, and I have copies of all of these things because he insists I am as prepared as he is for his own death. You’d think my Dad is in his 60s or 70s, but no, he just turned 50 not long ago. But, he’s been ready for death as long as I can remember. And, I can’t stand it. It’s so morbid. His mother is the same way…especially since my Grandfather died a few years ago. She always talks about how she’s ready to go, can’t wait for it actually. I can’t stand it and tell them to please stop talking about it. I remind them they are in the current state of LIVING and to enjoy LIFE and make the most of each day. My words are empty of course and they are still on the fast track toward their own deaths no matter what I say, and I feel sad for them. Life is amazing; so amazing in fact that sometimes it hurts me to think about how wonderful it actually is. Sure, there are so many negatives and so many challenges we all face, each different and each so important to us. But, at the end of the day, we have one LIFE to LIVE. One chance to get it right; one opportunity to seize the moment and enjoy it. And, I’m working on doing just that. Sure, we need to be prepared. My husband and I need to have a Will in place and make sure our things are “in order” but I refuse to focus on it and worry about it like my Dad and grandmother. But, for now, I’m going to enjoy my family and live in the NOW.

As I type this, I am listening to my wind chimes on the front porch and feeling the breeze from my open kitchen window (in February!!) sneak around the corner and hit me in the family room. My little one is drifting off for another nap in his swing, and my big little one is napping in his crib. I’m waiting for both to wake up soon and am hoping there will be enough light left in the day to take them for a stroll in the neighborhood.

I sure do love being on maternity leave. I’ve learned so much about my toddler and the little boy he is growing into, and even more about myself this time around. It has been a truly wonderful experience; I can’t believe it’s almost time to go back to work – 2 weeks. Luckily, I enjoy my job, so as much as I’ll miss my beautiful babies, I do not completely dread heading back to work. However, I did tell my husband last night that it sure would be great to only worry about taking care of my boys and the house, instead of worrying about the stress of my job. He said “I completely agree with you.” This is very rare – he NEVER agrees with me. He then said “it sucks to have to worry about stuff that’s not even a part of your life.” I get where he’s coming from – when I’m at work, it’s work and it’s about work. But, I also spend 40 hours per week there, so it’s also kind of part of my life…alas we agree to disagree on that. Anyway, throughout my time at home these past few weeks, I have questioned why I work and have thought many days about how nice it would be to be at stay at home mom and be with my boys every day and that moms who get to do that are so much luckier than me. But over the past week, I’ve learned that I work for my boys. They are my motivation to do well and succeed. I want to provide for them and I want them to learn the importance of hard work. I believe that if you give it your all at work and model yourself after others who are successful, then you too can be successful, no matter what line of business you are in. This is one of the good traits I inherited from my Dad – thanks Dad. He instilled the importance of hard work in me when I turned 16. He “gave” me our older car and said if I wanted to drive it, I needed to get a job to pay for the gas and oil. So, the next day, I packed up my brother and headed to the local amusement park and interviewed on the spot (with my brother in two no less) and started working for a place that became a part of my life for almost 10 years…a place that forded me the opportunity to make wonderful friends, achieve several promotions including the most coveted position at the park at one point, meet my husband, and learn a ton of life lessons (including how to fake it til’ you make it when dealing with the public!). Everything I learned there I have carried with me throughout my career and experiences from that park have been shared in every interview I’ve had since then, and have helped me to land a pretty amazing career. So, thanks Dad; I didn’t see it at the time, but making me go out and get a job as soon as I could proved to be extremely life changing for me.

Oh the randomness of my blog. This is why I love writing. I am free to express myself and choose whatever road I want to go down. I can take a thought and completely steer myself down any path I choose. I love how in a few short paragraphs I started with sharing the weather in my small part of our world to thanking my Dad for sending me off to get a job at 16.

So, now I want to hear from you. Are you on maternity leave? Love it or hate it? Ready to go back to work or about to send in the quitting papers? What did you learn from your first job? Did it change your life? I know mine did, and I plan to instill that same work ethic in my kids.

Enjoy your day in your part of the world – remember to slow down if you can. Why not take a minute and reflect on yourself? Would love to hear from you.

All the best,

Someone’s mom